Stuff They Don't Teach You in High School

     Ok friends, if you've hung around me at all lately then you know that I have a list of life rules...

     Now, don't get me wrong, the things I learned in high school were all of great value (well.. maybe except for having to learn how many hydrogen atoms are produced when you mix together a couple beakers of some ethyl-methyl-bad-stuff, but that's besides the point). However, I strongly believe that there are some lessons in life that you just can't find in a textbook. Up until recently, I chose not to share any of this knowledge I have gained with anyone else for fear that..well.. people would think it's dumb. But apparently, the little tidbits I have shared have been a big hit and have seemed to resonate in the lives of quite a few people. These people have asked for more tidbits (God bless them..) so I have developed an official list of K-rock's Rules to Live By. And here we go...

1. ALL women are crazy. Granted, some are waaaaayy worse than others, but when it all comes down to it, there are no exceptions to this rule.
2. ALL men (again, some more often than others) will at some point think with a body part other than their brain. I think you know what I'm talking about here... *** Note: this rule has been modified seeing as how I know most people reading this are not in the fire service and don't appreciate the foul language that has become common-place in the firehouse.
3. Always work what you've got
4. Always come prepared
5. Always have a back up plan
6. Be willing to try things twice. You may have messed it up the first time
7. Always pay attention, fool! Carelessness is the root of all failure
8. Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics
9. First impressions are completely worthless 50% of the time
10. BS-ing might get you what you want, but it sure won't let you keep it for very long
11. You will at multiple times in your life find yourself in deep doo-doo. Learn when to own up to it and when to keep your mouth shut
12. Remember that pregnancy can also be counted as an STD
13. Actions speak louder than words. If they have to tell you they're good, they probably aren't
14. Never, never, EVER never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless she is in the act of giving birth
15. Nobody is normal. You are no exception to this rule. End of story.
16. Women may be crazy, but they are not stupid
17. Don't be rude to people who handle your food. You'll wind up with "special sauce"
18. Life is not fair, but life is not fair for everyone. So suck it up
19. Leave no evidence
20. If keeping it a secret is that big of a deal, then you probably shouldn't be doing it anyway
21. If it's not going to matter in a year down the road, then go ahead and let it go
22. If it don't kill you, then it's probably going to hurt like a son-of-a-biscuit-eating-bulldog. But eventually you'll get over it
23. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night
24. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car
25. If you absolutely must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before
26. Don't take life too seriously. No one makes it out alive anyway
27. If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not really a nice person
28. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
29. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator
30. It ain't the jeans making your butt look fat....
31. Never lick a steak knife
32. Everyone thinks they're a good driver
33. Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue
34. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience
35. If a man uses the restroom in a woman's house, he is expected to put the seat down. Likewise, if a woman uses a man's restroom, it is polite to put the seat back up. It's not your house. Leave things the way you found them
36. In reference to #35: if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie
37. Always say "please, thank you, ma'am, and sir." Manners will carry you a long way
38. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for
39. Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate
40. Remember to floss

     So there they are, friends. Those are K-rock's Rules to Live By. There are more to come, I can almost promise you...unless I'm too lazy to write them down in which case that's it and you're out of luck. I hope maybe one or some or even all of these rules might come in handy for at least a few of you (you know, a few of the 6 of you who read this...)

Night friends!
K-rock

I'm glad I did...

     Ok so if you know me, which if you're reading this then you probably do, then you also know that the fire/rescue service has completely taken over my life. I'm pretty ok with that. Just sayin.. And as a young firefighter I tend to pay attention to and soak up just about every tiny piece of knowledge I can wrap my little mind around. One of those little tidbits is a Brunacini quote that has started to pop up pretty frequently..

"Risk a lot to save a lot. Risk little to save little. And risk nothing to save nothing."

     To a fireman, this basically means that if saving someone else's life calls for risking your own, do it. That's what you signed on for. If there's a job to be done but there's time to slow down, think about it, and then take a calculated risk, then do so. Take the risk but be smart and only risk what is absolute necessary. And finally, though it may seem very cold, do not risk your life trying to save something or someone that is already gone. One confirmed loss warrants not another, so don't add to or become part of the problem.

     With all that said... As I drove back to the Queen City last night from a weekend filled with big, fancy hydraulic gadgets and "blammin' tools," I came across a billboard. This billboard, I'm sure, was meant for me to see. It seemed to advertise nothing at all—there were no well-known slogans or company names or anything. It simply read: "Look back and say 'I'm glad I did.' Not 'I wish I had.'"

     So what does this have to do with the quote above? Well.. I am in the long, slow, often uncomfortable process of learning that living life—really living it—means taking risks. I know, I know. Cliché right? But it’s so true! Let me give you an example from my own life…

     Early in the spring semester of last school year, I found myself drudging through each day much the same as the one before it. Get up, go to class, go on my athletic training rotation, pretend to do homework until two a.m. but not actually do it, go to bed. That was it. I was complacent and I had settled for that kind of everyday. I had not been truly happy for quite some time and putting on a good show for the people around me was becoming more and more difficult. Those close to me were beginning to see through the happy face I put on, and some began to even call me out on it. My roommate and friend, an athletic trainer on staff (who also became my friend the day I fainted in her office. Long story for another occasion..), and even the guy I was dating at the time all made it known that they could see that I wasn’t happy and wanted, no needed something more. It was then that I decided I could no longer ignore what I had known in my gut for the entire two years I had been at the Webb: this is not where my heart is. I was doing the athletic training thing because it’s what I knew. I was ok at it and even enjoyed it from time to time, but my heart was never in it. At best, I tolerated it. And then I decided to take a risk. A big one..

     Shortly after my realization and after much discussion with and advice (most of which I didn’t follow, but that’s besides the point) from my parents and those close to me, I submitted an application for admission to UNC Charlotte. I checked my admission status almost every day until I received notification of my acceptance. And almost at once the plans I once had for my life all changed. No longer did I see myself becoming an athletic trainer, working in a high school, and having the same effect on some poor, unsuspecting students that my high school trainers had on me (a good effect, mind you). Suddenly I saw myself excited about getting up and going to work every day. Suddenly I was excited about my future and not just going along with it. I enrolled at Charlotte and declared a major in fire safety engineering and embarked on my journey toward reaching the goals that were hidden in my heart and not just in my brain.

     If you know me, and know me well, you know that a major change like that is HUGE for me. You also know that I don’t do change very well. But the point is that I took a risk. I had to give up a lot that I loved—my friends at the Webb, being comfortable and secure, having a set plan that allowed me to just go through the motions. But I also gained a lot. I gained an excitement that my life was seriously lacking. I gained the confidence in myself to be able to stand on my own two feet, and the confidence that I could withstand major changes in my own life. Those were both things I didn’t have before. I also gained new friends in a new place (that just so happened to be a huge school in a frickin HUGE city…intimidating much? Uh huh..). I risked a lot but I gained a lot.

     But I also came to the hard realization, once I got here and hit my stride of course, that making one single change in my life—taking one big risk—doesn’t mean that I won’t have to take more as I grow up and reach for more goals. But the risks I take in the future will be calculated ones. If risking everything means gaining only a little, it probably won’t happen.

   BUT I will continue to take risks. That’s just something I’ve had to accept. And when I’m eighty years old (Lord knows, if I even make it that far before dying in some freak snow mobile accident or something) I want to and WILL be able to look back on the things I did in my life and say “I’m glad I did” instead of “I wish I had…”

Happy Turkey Day!

     So, I know it's pretty late in the day. In fact, it's technically already tomorrow, but that's besides the point. The point is that it's Thanksgiving! And with Thanksgiving comes the flooding of facebook posts and twitter updates on what people are really thankful for in life. So, in order to fall in with the rest of the people on the band wagon, I thought I would share a few of the things that I'm thankful for.
     This list actually was written in a journal I had to keep during my freshman year of college at the Webb. That particular journal , actually, was in part one of the reasons I began this very blog. But anyway, I was required to make an entry every week and this, of course, was the required topic for the week of Thanksgiving (thanks Abbie!) So here it is..

Things I am Thankful For:

1. My family. This includes both the people who live in my house and/or are actually related to me as well as those close friends who may as well be my brothers and sisters. These people are AH-mazing. So much so that I couldn't begin to explain to you the level of their collective amazingness.

2. The fire service. I know I talk about it a lot and people might get a little tired of it, but it's true. The world of firefighting (and EMS and Rescue, of course) has no doubt saved my life. That is all that I know and all that I really need to know.

3. Facebook. I mean really... If I ever need something to occupy my time while procrastinating on school work or anything else that may be considered productive, then facebook never fails to help me out. It's also there when I'm just bored and I feel like I need to live vicariously through other people. Oh and ps: that whole thing about facebook being blocked on campus is really chafing my bottom...

4. Cool Hwhip. This really needs no explanation, but I'll humor you and give you one anyway. What can't you do with cool Hwhip? It's good on any dessert as well as various other foods like cereal, fruit, pb&j samiches, you get the picture.. It's also great for pranks like smearing it on cars, putting it in the hands of sleeping people, and filling balloons with it. There really is nothing you can't do with cool Hwhip!
(ps: if you don't watch Family Guy then there is absolutely no way you would understand that one. Sorry)

5. Orange Gatorade. Again, this needs no explanation. It's simply amazing and I don't honestly know if I could live without it. It's my beverage of choice and has been for as long as I can remember and I'm pretty ok with that.

So there you have it. Those are some of the things I am thankful for.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!
K-rock

Sometimes I'm an idiot..

     Ok let's face it friends.. sometimes we're idiots. All by ourselves with no encouragement or poking or prodding from any outside source, we all seem to have a real knack for sometimes being pretty..well..dumb.  Of course for most of us this is a periodic occurrence, usually a single event or episode of verbal diarrhea. But for some more unlucky people, idiocy seems to just be a way of life...which is rather unfortunate. But I'm not really here to point the finger so let me just tell you, dear friends, about my own experience with being a space cadet.

     In the very recent past I have said and done some things I really shouldn't have said or done. We'll not get into those details.. I have also kept my mouth shut when I really should have spoken up. Those details aren't really important either. But what is very important is the fact that I have made mistakes. BIG ones. And not just recently, but throughout my young adulthood, and really my entire life. And I can promise you that as sure as I continue to breathe, I will continue to make mistakes. It's a given. But I have found that there is something of way greater importance than the fact that I will undoubtedly continue to mess things up. The reality is that every time I stick my foot in my big mouth or turn around and kick myself (go ahead and picture those acrobatics!) for whatever bone-headed thing I just said or did, I will hopefully learn a lesson.

     A very wise person (who probably stole this quote from someone else somewhere along the way) once told me that "Life is the hardest teacher for it gives the test first but the lesson second." Oh my goodness gracious were they right! It never ceases to amaze me how I can manage to completely foul something up but then turn around when it's all said and done and say, "Hey I really shouldn't have done that! I'll know better next time.." Isn't it cool how that works? Isn't it grand how hindsight is SO 20/20?

     Um.. actually no, it's not usually fun. But we all know that, right? We all know that actually having to look back at some unpleasant situation, in which we were at fault, often has a way of..say...hurting one's pride? Ripping one's guts out? Breaking one's heart and then running over it with a Mack Truck, throwing it in reverse and hitting it again? Ha! Ok, I got a little dramatic with that last one.. But you get the picture. Long story, short: it pretty much sucks.

     But there's good news, friends! The complete and total suckiness of the situation doesn't have to be the end all, be all! And here in lies the great part, my friends. The good Lord above has blessed us all with brains-- granted some are capable of more than others-- and along with those brains He gave us the ability to learn from our mistakes. And that is what we have to embrace. Not the total crappiness of the fact that we just messed up, but the fact that after messing up, we receive the gift of just a little bit more knowledge. We suddenly know a little bit more than we knew before. And that is a very, very good thing.

     So.. what are some of the most recent tidbits knowledge I have been blessed with? Well, I'll tell you.. 1.) If you've got something to say, say it. You might not get another chance. 2.) THINK about what you say BEFORE it actually leaves your mouth. Are the words you're fixin to share with everyone really going to help the situation or just muddle it up even more? Save yourself some heartache and figure that out before you grace your acquaintances with your thoughts and opinions. And 3.) DO NOT set your cruise control to 81mph in the 65mph zone of I-85/I-40 that passes through Alamance County. That's a really bad idea and should also be pretty self-explanatory.

     And I believe that's it for my life lesson tonight. Hope you were able to find something profound hidden somewhere in the words above. I didn't hide anything specific in there, so if you find something good, let me know. :)

Night friends!

K-rock

People Watching

     Ok, so I work in a mall. Sorry, I enjoy having a job so can't tell you which one. But let me tell you, friend, it is by far some of the best people watching I have participated in in quite a while (minus the state fair because people watching on that level is UNBEATABLE). But anywho.. you would not believe the kind of nonsense I see walking around this mall. There are children in shoes that squeak. Yes, you read right. They SQUEAK with each tiny little step! And you thought those light-up shoes your mom made you wear when you were 6 were bad. These kids couldn't escape if they tried because you can hear those dadgum shoes all over the place. I almost feel like these squeaky shoes are the new kiddie-leash, which I have nothing against by the way. I had a leash when I was little and people apparently gave my mom the stink face for it but I was a little rugrat who liked to get into things. Mom really had no choice. And there are children with at-ti-TUDES! Oh my goodness gracious. This evening I overheard a child who could not have been more than five say "woman, where the heck are we?!" to his mother! I don't know about you, friend, but if I had said that at that age, I would also have expected to get a butt whoopin' when I got home.
     **DISCLAIMER: I was NOT beaten as a child. I got tough love in the form of butt whoopin's and I can assure you I deserved every single one of them**
     And then you have the cool teenager crowd. There's the 14-year-olds who get their moms to drop them off so they can walk around with Hollister and American Eagle bags lookin fly like a G6. It's ok guys, I did that, too, when I was your age. And, of course, there's the older teens. The ones who walk around bearing a striking resemblance to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman before Richard Gere took her to get all those fancy clothes. I think you know what I'm talking about.. They walk around holding hands with their boyfriends or girlfriends giggling as they whisper sweet nothings in each other's ear. Oh, to be young again.. Haha! My favorites, however, are the young ladies who strut their stuff in those sweet designer heels.  My hat's off to the few of you who can pull them off. I for sure couldn't do it. But what kills me are the girls who don't quite know how to walk in heels. Sure, you look smashing as you stand still talking on your Blueberry (or whatever the new phone is this week) waiting for the elevator, but the tragedy begins when you take those first few steps again. It is my firm belief that if you're going to wear those amazing shoes, you should work it--graceful like a gazelle and NOT like a tyranosaurus rex with a limp. You should really work on that.
     And speaking of shoes, what in the world is up with the "kitten heel?" That concept is still beyond me. Personally, I think if you're going to wear flats, wear flats. If you're going to wear heels, wear heels. You can't have it both ways, dear friend. But I'll just let that one go..
     And the highlight of the people watching this week has come with the arrival of the Christmas season and, of course, Santa Claus.  Being the kid at heart that I am, I have been wanting to have my picture taken with Santa for days now, but I've been doing my job so I haven't had time yet. Just sayin..  But the other night as I was taking the trash out after closing up I saw something that has completely and totally changed my view of Santa. No longer do picture jolly ol' St. Nick with his cheerful smile, his red hat and his boisterous laugh. Oh no, friends.. As I opened the door to the loading dock to put the trash in the dumpster (glamorous job, I know) who did I see but none other than Santa himself....with his snow white hair flowing into his tremendous beard. But this was not the Santa from my childhood dreams. This Santa had apparently forgotten his suspenders (and yes, crack kills) AND his traditional red coat. Let me just tell you that seeing an old fat guy in red hot pants half-way covering his rear end and a wife-beater has scarred my mind forever. I hope he's happy with himself...

So there you have it. That's what I see every day at work. And with that, I'm spent. Goodnight friends!
K-rock

Day 2. Look at me go!

     Ok, first off, this is my second blog post in a row. Check me out, friend! Second, eating Cookout at 10 o'clock at night was a bad idea. And third, I have to come to learn, with the assistance of such MTV shows as World of Jenks, Made, The Buried Life, and the soon to come Road Trip Adventures, that you can really figure a lot out about someone by the things they aspire to do in life. You've got the go-getters who want to base jump off a cliff in Brazil. And then you have those people who just want to make it into the Guinness Book of Records for the number of Cheetos they can fit in their nose. But anyway, I thought I'd share with you my bucket list...the things I want to do before I..well..kick the bucket. Might be funny, might give you some ideas, or... you might not care. But whatever. It's my blog.

And in no particular order...

1. Make a living doing something I love
2. Read something original at an open mic night
3. Read 200 legitimate books
4. Get Married
5. Have chil'ren
6. Go skydiving solo
7. Become fluent in Spanish
8. Dye my hair purple (done it!)
9. Have at least one friend that lasts a lifetime
10. Be able to truly support myself
11. Lead ten people to Christ
12. Go one whole day without saying the word "no" just to see what happens
13. See the birth of a litter of puppies
14. Learn to do a back handspring
15. Spend more than a week at the beach
16. Drive across the country
17. Get a motorcycle
18. Drive a Lamborghini
19. Make a difference to someone I don't know
20. Befriend someone out of the ordinary
21. Drink a gallon of milk in an hour
22. Speak in front of 500+ people (done it!)
23. Sing on a stage...in front of people...by myself (yikes!)
24. Swim with dolphins
25. Name a star
26. Chinese fire drill (done it! in the middle of I-85 in Charlotte, no less..)
27. Tell only one person a secret that nobody else knows (done it! thanks PostSecret..)

An eclectic mix, I know. But these are the kinds of things I care about. Oh yeah, and one day I'm going to save the world, but that one's just a given.

Night friends!
K-rock

Welcome to my adventure..

     Ok, so here goes nothin.. I've officially decided to jump in to a new adventure that could turn out to be completely rewarding. Or, let's face it friends, it could turn out to be a complete flop. But either way, I'm sure that by now you've figured out that this big exciting new endeavor I'm talking about is starting this very blog...which you're apparently already reading.
     So, "why a blog?" you may ask. Well, it could be the result of the quirky yet lovable English teacher I had the pleasure of learning from during my junior year of high school. Her name was Nancy Duffner and we were pretty much her little group of misfits. Our class affectionately became known as "Duffy's Day Care," which was eventually shortened to just "Duff Care." Anywho, Duffy told me I was a good writer, and while to this day I still appreciate her confidence in my abilities, I believe her encouragement may be similar to that given to those really unfortunate people who think it's a good idea to try out for American Idol. Someone told them they had some great singing chops and encouraged them to audition...then they found out they weren't quite as good as their friends and family led them to believe. So if this does in fact turn out to be a flop, you can blame Duffy.
     Or...I could be starting this blog because I just feel like it. In which case, if it's not that great, well, you can still blame Duffy.

     So welcome to my adventure, my dear friend. Tune in to see what sorts of shennanigans I can manage to get myself into.

Hope you enjoy!
K-rock